What's With Me???

Tonight, I posted about the girls, mostly, with a tiny bit about myself at the end. I am busy enough for two people, so generally, my time is limited to read other people's blogs. Well tonight, I feel like I have been a stalker! Yet most of what I read and saw has affected me deeply, I think in a highly positive way.
One blog I read addressed the fact that all of us think our children are the cutest, brightest, best, etc. I can't argue with that. And this friend is right to say that every child deserves to have someone who adores them that deeply. Then just as I mentally digested that little morsel of light and truth, I read one about how it is sometimes hard to open up and blog about "real" and "deep" feelings, beyond the trivial or somewhat shallow. Let's face it, we are all probably MUCH deeper than our blogs merit. I for one have not really spent much time at all blogging about myself, let alone anything that lets anyone know any of the complexities that I try to wrap my mind around sometimes. THEN, I came across the beautiful video I posted by Dieter Uchdorf. It built up everything I was feeling in my mind and heart like a musical crescendo, a bit of an epiphany, or more of an "Aha" or "Oh yeah" I guess. Especially the very last line, about how our trust and reliance on the spirit (faith) is directly proportional to our power to create. So guess what??? This could be the first of the occasional random gush of personal emotions on this blog.
I have done so much with my life in the past two years or so. There is so much to be happy about and thankful for. Yet, if there has ever been a time in my life where I battled self-pessimism, lack of confidence, and stuggled not to become depressed, it has been this last two years. I have prayed, but need to pray more. I have asked for husband's blessings, and my wonderful husband has always brought me comfort. I think what I have been trying to create is a stronger, new-and-improved
me, and the growing pains of this have made it excruciating at times. I think the reason for this is that I have have not once tried to simplify things so I can focus on the aspects I need to focus on most. I have just thought I can do a LOT of things at once and when they are all finished, I will be fulfilled. To a point that is true, but in a big way, it still leaves me right where I was in the first place- thinking of the times I feel asleep without reading scriptures, the times the girls fell asleep and we didn't say prayers, things like that.
I need to say this too, this "Superwoman Syndrome" has got to be deeply embedded in my very soul somewhere. I can honestly remember as a young girl thinking that I wanted to "have it all"- that I was going to be married and have kids, that I was going to have callings at church, that I was going to have a career, but one that allowed me to have a schedule very similar to that of my kids', that I was going to be there for all of their games, recitals, etc, and even be one of those parents that voluteers their time with those activities. The problem is that I love everything I do- but when I take on something new, I lose perception of the time commitment involved. Then I realize how insane everything is getting, and I long to simplify my life. Once something ends, it is easy to replace it with something else- and so the cycle continues. I did this before the girls came along, when I was a regular in the local theater circuit and in the opera in Fresno.
Okay, so I like to use my mind, learn, create. That isn't bad at all. It seems though that I do it at the times when I am longing most for a change in my life. When I was doing all that theater stuff, I did it all the while proclaiming that it was what I wanted to do until I became a mommy, a last little "selfish streak" if you will. Then the girls came along and it was pure bliss and excitement. Don't get me wrong, it still is. I guess what kind of changed for me is when I decided to go back to school and get my Master's. I got a little self-centered again and set some big goals for myself. It was so totally incredible to finish that, and I can't wait to formally celebrate it at commencement in May. The one little thing, the icing on the cake of reward though, is the new job. I KNOW, I should be so very thankful that I have the job I have, and that I can stay right where I am and get a nice little raise in August. However, the stars are still in my eyes and the fire in my belly when I think of being offered a position as an administrator. I have already had the opportunity to go to a few interviews, but for whatever reason, the one that is meant for me is still yet to come. I know I need to be patient. The Lord will guide me towards a place where I will be happy and I will know it's where I was meant to be. That is how it was with my teaching job. My mind and my spirit are at odds with this, and it is so easy for me to say what I need to do and how I need to feel. But actually allowing myself to do it is another story. Kris told me that when we were praying the other day, he had a feeling come over him and he could 100% see me attaining my goal. Of course I asked him "when?" like he would be able to answer that. You see, that is another thing that is engrained in my spirit somewhere. I have a hard time living in the here and now sometimes. I was one of those kids whose parents were always having to remind them to be happy, and not live too much in the future (like how great life will be once I can date, drive, when my missionary comes home, etc.). I have tried to control this, but so far only to a marginal degree of success. I do the same thing with finacial matters, too. Suffice it to say, that could be a another long blog...
So, this (in a very long winded and round about way) leads me right back to the title of this blog- What's With Me??? Well, what is with me is that the experiences of the last 2 years or more have changed me. In some ways they have made me stronger. In others, I still need to "step it up." Is it healthy to try to be "Supermom"? I think it is as long as you define and stay within your own limits and always allow yourself enough room/time to learn and grow spiritually. When you have that, you are also working on being the best wife and mom that you can. This is what I think has been wrong with me, and has left me feeling a bit "devoid" despite my crazy schedule. Thank goodness it will slow down a bit in April, just in time for Mallory's baptism, family coming to town, and then the end of the school year. I plan not to take on any extra responsiblities this summer. You heard me! Please help me keep this promise to myself and my family!
In all seriousness though, I will be fine, especially since tonight seems to have pulled me more towards my center of balance. Thank you for letting me read your blogs. I think most of you are younger than I, but your goodness and wisdom went beyond my years tonight! If you have any additional comments or wisdom to impart, feel free :)

CREATE!- This speaks directly to my soul! Thanks Christa!!!

Busy Busy!

Our first track meet- Becca is ready!

Becca and her little friend who was a high-jumper!

Warming up on the field, they are on the far end in the darker green shirts. The light green is Royal Oaks

Becca is throwing the shotput (behind the net, not in front). She said that she didn't do that well because the ball was heavier than she was used to. Here you can see her crouching to push the ball forward as much as possible...

another shotput picture-

Becca is one of those specks on the far end of the field. I couldn't get a good picture because she was in the 4x100 meter relay, and her starting mark was way over there. She passed up two girls and was so very fast. I so want to see her do the 100 meter dash!

Mallory going to practice last Thursday

...and the same pose, after the game on Saturday. She is liking softball a lot, but after getting a pretty good start, we are now in a slump. Hope we can come out of it in the 4 or 5 games we have left!

So anyways, these were the highlights of our week. That, and I put another yearbook "to bed", and had a pizza celebration with my GATE class/yearbook staffers. We were proud of Becca for getting 4th place in 3rd and 4th grade girl's 4x100 relay, this being the first time they ever started with a starter "gun". Her school got so many of the awards, they were so proud, especially the principal, who we sat near for a while. Our neighbor Austin got first place in one of the boy's races, so he was pretty excited about that. The next meet will be later this month, so we will let you know how it goes!

Report cards are supposed to be done tomorrow and I have barely started. I can't do it at home because they are computer-generated, and only accessible from school. And I can't cancel practice tomorrow because we have a game on Tuesday! ARRRGH! I am going to try to leave the house really early tomorrow to get lots done! Wish me luck with my overextended self!!!

Mallory, the Model Citizen!

Mallory was surprised to see us at the assembly, and equally surprised to hear her name called as the student of the month from her class! She was even more surprised to get the colorful bag with a card and a giant Hershey bar.

She noticed us once she was on stage with the principal, and gave us a smile and a wave

standing on stage as the last of the students were called up

Mallory and her teacher, Miss Fox

Mallory was recognized as a student of the month this morning at a very nice assembly at Mountain View Elementary. Her daddy and I both took time to be with her as she was honored by her principal Mrs. Merkel and her teacher Miss Fox. Of course as a teacher/administrator, I was watching to see how the whole thing was conducted, and I was VERY impressed. The kids were well-behaved and it was so cool to see the student council (6th graders) lead the assembly along with the principal. They had behavior monitors that watched the classes and at the end they awarded the best-behaved class with a tray of cookies. There were all kinds of other awards, too, for attendance, Happy Meal tickets for lunch with the principal, spirit awards, and so on. We do lots at our school too, but it was interesting to see how another school does things. I may have to give my boss Robert an idea or two!

But this is Mallory's day, so I really should be writing about her! We are so proud of the sweet young lady she is becoming. She is doing beautifully in school, proficient both academically and behaviorally! -and it is so fun to coach her softball team and watch her play, especially when she goes up to bat! We can't wait to celebrate her eighth birthday next month and her baptism! Mal, we love you!!!

Opening Day! Mallory's First Official Softball Game!

We had a fun and exciting first game/opening day. Our team, the Comets had a lot of spunk and spirit, and they made a few really nice plays out on the field. They also got a few very good hits in. I was very proud of our pitchers too, they are working on everything another mom and I have told them to do. Mallory played third base, and got in a good play where she got the ball and helped get an out. She also learned that sometimes you have to wait for someone on the other team to hit the ball and that can sometimes be boring. She got a really good hit in, and ran to first with a very excited look on her face. It all happened so fast, and being the first game we coached, we were so concerned about everything that we didn't get a picture of it, but we will work on getting good pictures again at the next game. Here are some fun pictures we got!

It was a nice day in the low 60's, although when we were getting ready to take the field, we had the girls run a bit because they were a little cold.

In the dugout, they had fun cheering for their batter and waiting for their turn in the lineup.

In the foreground and smiling at the camera is our "budding Jenny Finch." She did an awesome job pitching her very first game!

On the field and ready for defense!

Hustling in after a third out! GO COMETS!!!! The final score was O-O, so we tied. Can't wait till our next game!!!

ps- This evening, Mallory was still wearing her uniform and not wanting to take it off to take a shower. She said "No, I love it, it's comfy!"

Last Friday's Field Trip to Monterey

Last Friday, my class and two others went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium and then to Mission San Juan Bautista. It is always fun and definitely the highlight of the year for the kids. I have gone several times now and always marvel at the ocean life, so I wanted to post just a few of the many pictures I took. There are more of the aquarium and mission, and lots of kids enjoying it that I didn't want to include, but these were just a handful of my aquarium favorites! March 12th, it's off to Fresno State University for the Peach Blossom Oral Interpretation Festival...

Spoiled Divas

Okay, so here is how our afternoon/evening went on Tuesday, March 3rd:

Kim is greeted by the girls- "tonight is the Dr. Seuss celebration at school. Can we go, pleeaase?"
Kim says- "Yes, let's get home and wait for Daddy. We'll eat something real quick and go"

Kris says-"grrrr, I'm tired"

Girls say-"Come on Daddy, let's go!"

Kim then says-"Hang on, you look scary, let's fix your hair and change your clothes"

end result- we end up missing the Dr. Seuss Day Celebration. We felt really guilty, so we took them to Baskin Robbins to make it up to them. Rebecca has a new favorite flavor, peppermint (what can I say, she is my girl, that is one of my favorites too!!!) and Mallory loves rainbow sherbet. So even though we have been mindful of he recession like everyone else, we have had a couple spoiled moments lately! Did we mention the Claire's boutique mini shopping spree they went on for Valentine's Day? Well, Claire's was having a major blowout sale, so that was the only reason, and they had fun, since that is usually just a "look around but don't buy" store when we are walking around the mall. The first picture in this entry is a sampling of what they got. Well, they got lip gloss (couldn't find it for the picture), cotton candy scented perfume, black cat jewelry ("We have to get them because our cat Seuss is black!"), earrings, Hello Kitty press on nails, and new diva tiaras. Such girly girls!

It's Cammi's Fault!

I saw Cammi's great Target finds and had to check it out for myself at our store. Once again, I too was a slave to the Target girl's section! Cute stuff! Way low prices! Gotta love it! Cammi, I agree, there are worse vices out there. This is how I spent my day off today- that, and several other things:

1) Went to see my doctor, Dr. Wu. My blood sugar is 100, so that is on the high end of the normal range. My cholesterol is up again, so I have to watch my diet and start exercising more again (no more excuses!!!).

2) Met Kris at home during his lunch break and ate lunch together

3) Picked the girls up from school early and we all 3 went to Dr. Henrikson for our dental checkups. No one had cavities, Mallory lost a tooth while the hygenist was cleaning it, and Becca may end up needing braces in the not so far off future. I wish I had thought to take my phone out and get some pictures!

4) Dropped Becca off at school again for track practice. She says she and another girl are "the fastest 3rd graders on the team"

5) Mallory and I went shopping for her baptism dress and it is BEAUTIFUL! I want to post a picture but I don't know...I know, it's not her wedding, but still...(let me know if you think I should)

6)Went to Target and got the stuff pictured above

All in all, it was nice to break the monotony and have a day off. It didn't really feel that relaxing and it went by fast, but it was still good. Now I realize how "stay at home" moms can also feel like they are always on the go. I didn't go to work, but I wasn't really home much either!